♥SLO-MO HONDA GURL♥

Lee Goddard

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 18:40:48 GMT

For those who haven't yet heard about Lee, you probably soon will read about it in the paper when it comes out. I feel so shitty because me and *my* Lee (Mansfield) just saw him at Mobil a week ago, and we all talked, and it just seems so weird. He was headed down to st mary's fair when it happened, I mean, his family must be going through some terrible pain that none of us can imagine. Me and Lee M are planning to get all the people we know from Lackey to sign a card that we can send with some flowers.

Cross your fingers for this job at civista!!

“If life is just a game, why does it hurt so much when I’m losing?”

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 08:35:58 GMT

I feel so shitty right now. I got in a fight with Lee over something that seemed so dumb, but that hurt me bad….it was just a dumb little convo we were having, and all of a sudden I ask him something that I really shouldn’t have, and he gives me his honest answer (but lied about it before). It was something I’m really sensitive about, that busted my ego in one big ol’ pop. I felt sorta like I was dating Josh there for a sec…felt like I was scum, worthless. Something I thought I was so good at, but it turns out I’m really not. It was embarrassing in the worst way! You know, kinda like finding out your boyfriends gay or something.
Erm, no…not that bad.
Tonight I invited Austin to go racing with us, which was his first race and all. Lee was mad, because I mean, Austin is an alright looking dude. Well, Lee wasn’t mad, just kinda self-conscious I guess. Austin whooped my civics’ ass though, but I was proud of him. That boy has a lot of talent.
But I mean, that’s what bothers me. How come I don’t have a “talent”? What got me so upset tonight was that Lee knew I was sensitive about it, and he lied to me, and then, he INSULTED me. What’s more, he…..just…left me there. I got pissed, and fucking left. Fuck it, I didn’t need that shit. He’ll call tomorrow anyways.
It’s something I know I’m good at, I’ve had lots of honest boyfriends who even later actually bragged about it. But Lee LIED. And INSULTED me. Uh uh, no way. I love him a lot, but not enough to put up with feeling put down. I learned my lesson, more than once.
Anyhow, there were some nice cars down at the strip tonight. There was the usual, Jeremy Kerby’s Focus, Richard Skatzes Monte Carlo, Amanda’s Mustang, Austin’s VW. A couple of quick little imports, but for the most part, lots of fast domestics. There was a red 5.0 mustang that would have put Greg’s black one to SHAME! I should invite fuckin’ Roger up there with the Integy, have him kick some ass.
We hung out with Phil the other day, since he was back in town. Phil’s prolly one of the coolest dude’s there is. Anyways, we (Lee, me, and Phil), went to McDonald’s….
I’ll write more later I guess. My computer’s not being a dick or anything, so maybe I will.

Anyways, I wish I was the best at SOMETHING. Fuck it, it's not even worth trying.

Fri, 27 May 2005 19:36:15 GMT

Okay this is gonna be a quicky, since I'm sitting at the College library chillin before I go to work.
Nothing really much to write except that I looove Lee.

PHHHHISSSSSH.......

Sun, 15 May 2005 18:31:07 GMT

I'm so fucking BORED. Um...what's new...dating Lee ( ;-D ), been doin so for about a month now or more. Things are goin good I guess except for our occasional spats (About the dumbest shit too..holding hands at shoppers when I didn't know he was tryin to hold hands..Donny...[lol...that was kinda a funny one..]..not being able to decide on what to do..etc) He's so cute when he's mad tho...like a lil' puppy. We looked at intakes for the civ at autozone today...I might buy one with my paycheck. Though I still need to get it to pass inspection..which might never happen. Whateva.
My dad's out of the hospital...outisde reving up his Kawasaki (I still kinda like it better then the Harley)...it souynds like shit cuz the pipes are bad..like RRRRRRRROOOOOOORRRR....POP POP. Kinda tight tho.
I LOVE working at Ridge....my coworkers are cool as shit and even tho the work is hard it's fun.

Waasssup!!?!!!

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 15:19:27 GMT

Sqqqueeee...I can CONNECT again! YAY! Ebaymotors, here I come!!
Lee and I did our first engine-type mod to the civic yesterday. You know, before he messed up his ankle. Ya'll know my civic...it's the black one cruisin down 301 with the gay ass MOROSO and STAHL HEADERS stickers on the right window. You can't really ignore it, plus it's loud.
Don't ask about the decals, I mean, I didn't put them on there. Geez.
Anyhow, friggen Lee fucked up his ankle yesterday, after I took him to his job interview (smart...:-P). I don't know what the hell he did to it (but I know for damn sure he was doing something dumb), but I got to spend the rest of the evening at Civista, scolding him about walking on it. He'd better be glad I love him so damn much, lol. If he gets the job though, I'm going have to take him to work every night (along with Cory), I don't mind it, but I wish he could get his license back sooner. And that his civic wasn't trashed.
Oh yeah, I got a new job!! :-D But I don't want to give it away...just yet...:-P
Ah well...I'm starting to sound all teenager-ish, with all the "SQUUUEEE" and all, so I'm going to leeeeave.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 02:39:22 GMT

Gawd I'm going insane. I need to get OUT of this house, because my heart is punding and my energy is through the roof. Took a shower, waited for Lee to call back.....and waited. Grr. I hate days where everyone is busy at work or asleep or stuff. But goddammiitttt, we were supposed to hang out!! VEWRJBVEWJRBNJEBNJKWENBMEWNRKBNEWKRBNJENRBEWRBADVBSAUIBVEIRBEENRKBENQ...

*blinks* Yeah, I think I need to leave now. I saw RILLEY today!!! Which, is prolly why I'm acting all crazy like this, because he's so muthafuckin WEEERD. Dumbass. TOO MUCH CAFFIENE! AHHHHHH!!!! That's it! I'm leaving! I'm going to Burger King, bitches, and I'm not coming back! Ever!!! HEHEHHEHEHEHEHHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[To everyone on my friends list: I'm sorry for this post...honestly, I really am]

SKEET SKEET!!!

Dreamzzzzzz

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 20:34:00 GMT

Based on a true...dream. Or nightmare, however you look at it.
WARNING! Parts are PG-13 or up.

No, there is no Erotica! Christ, it’s about Greg, nuh. I cropped that part out. I’m telling you, it was a sick dream.
I was going to change the names, but I figured it wouldn’t matter anyhow.

Present

She was at the end of route 6, by the fence protecting the unwitting cars from the river. A little wisp of brown hair tickled her nose, so she brushed it away impatiently.
‘What am I doing here?’ She asked herself.
That damned hair was irritating her again, so she shook her head, attempting to shoo it away. It didn’t work.
“Damn” She muttered, bringing the cigarette to her lips again. She was feeling nervous, if only because of the distance between her and any form of civilization.
No, that wasn’t it, was it? It was because he knew she was here, wasn’t it? She didn’t want to admit it, but it was true.
“Clear your head, Beck. Clear your head and just leave. He can’t find you where you aren’t at.”, Becky muttered again. She folded her arms and shivered. The Nanjemoy air was kinda chilly after all, wasn’t it? Especially here on the riverfront, the air was frigid. Fuck it, She thought, I’m leaving. I’m being silly about the whole thing.
She slammed the door of her car as she got in and turned the key. She turned the car in just one swipe of the wheel, and started up the hill.
The glimmer of clear coat and chrome caught her eye as she reached the top. Sleek and black, it sneered at her. A mustang, 5.0. His. The lights were cleared, the hood was raised in the center, and the windows were pitch black. The pony rims were sparkling in the sunlight, and the taillights were a deep, blood red. But something was off, the smell of it. It reeked of burnt rubber, of burning leaves. Of death, maybe, if she knew what death smelt like. She could hear it growling, a deep rumble from the highly modded engine and exhaust, like the beast it was.
A beautiful machine She thought, A piece of artwork, living and breathing in it’s own right. She left her civic, only her civic, it too, wasn’t right. It was red, bright cherry red. The familiar Honda grin that she’d long forgotten. She barely noticed. She walked towards the mustang, slowly, with disbelief in her eyes.
HOLLEY stickers on the fender.
The smell, the smell like the smoke of tires skidding on pavement after a long burn-out, was strong now. She left her red civic behind. She reached out to touch it, to see if it were real and not, like everything else, just a dream. Her delicate hand met cold metal, it was real. It shocked her, like a static electric shock, and she pulled her hand away. She felt afraid, the waters of the Potomac were churning and the sky was growing dark. Suddenly, the air became like a tornado, and she was in the center of it, being pulled. Everything faded from her sight; the fields, the house on the banks, the civic, the river; all but the Mustang.

2002
Spring

Becky was next to Greg in the passenger seat of his car. This car is too damn loud, She wanted to say, but he wouldn’t hear her.
“Mind if I put down the window…” She asked instead.
He looked at her.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He shifted. She wished she could learn it how he did, damn it, so untalented she was. She put the window down. Everyone tried to teach her how to drive a stick. Clutch in, out slowly, push on the gas, something like that. How come she couldn’t get it? She’d burst into tears when he taught her, “Damnit, I’m going to run into a ditch. How do I stop?” Greg laughed, “No, no...you’re not going to run into a ditch. Stop it like you stop any car, Boo..” He’d tell her not to worry about it, that once she got her license it’d be easier to learn.
“What are you doing, Baby girl?” He asked her, as she ran her lip gloss across her lips.
She looked at him, her eyes seductively sparkling. “Nothing..”..she said impishly.
He moaned and turned to look at the road…”Uuuugh, you’ve got wolf eyes..Becky. You’re going to get me into trouble.”
She liked it when he said that.

Present

She found herself sitting in the Mustang, window down. Her red civic was nowhere to be seen, but the water was still choppy and the clouds were still thick. She could still smell the burnt scent, though there was something else intertwined. Something musty, but something else she couldn’t put her finger on.
“Hey baby girl”
She gasped. He sat right next to her, draping his arm over the steering wheel and facing her. He moved towards her.
She screamed.
“What, what’s wrong Boo?” He sneered…..”Aren’t you happy to see me?”
She shook all over. Her elbow hit the side of the door hard as she fumbled to get out.
“Ssshhh.” He reached a finger out to her lips, silencing her. She jumped when he touched her, his hand was cold as ice.
“You aren’t real…you aren’t real” She murmured.
“But I am real, don’t you see that?” He laughed, his voice was deep and cheerful. His skin was tan and dark, like soft clay sand she thought. He was wearing a black tank, and deep blue denim jeans. She could see his muscular biceps clearly, though except for that, he was pretty skinny. He kept his black hair kind of long, and it always looked kind of greasy, though men were never good at taking care of their hair. A little strip of it dangled down over his eye. She always remembered his eyes to be a honey brown, but now they seemed dark. Angry, almost. For the first time in her whole life, she was afraid of him.
A dark stain on the seats beckoned her attention. Was that blood? His hand started to caress the side of her face. She moved away, slightly.
“DAMN IT BECCA!! DON’T TURN AWAY FROM ME!!!”, he yelled. He gripped her chin hard, making her face him.
He looked like he had been in a hard rainstorm, she realized, his hair was flat and stringy with a slight sheen. He was sweating, hard. He looked her dead in the eye.
“I always thought you were beautiful”, he whispered…his gaze still mean and hard. “I always thought you loved me too…”
“Greg….Greg stop. Whoever you are, stop. Let me go..” She begged.
“Don’t, speak to me. I don’t want to hear your voice. I just want to look at you..”
She cowered from him, pressing her back hard against the door. He stared at her for a moment, running his eyes over her like a hawk.
“Come with me for a bit…” He spoke.

The next moment, they were in his friends garage. The Mustang sat before her, smug. The lights were bright and everywhere she looked there were tools and parts. So familiar.
She heard the ringing rattle of a metal piece hitting the concrete floor. She startled, and turned to where the noise was coming from. Greg was there, looking at her, wiping oil and grease from his hands with a red rag.
“Know where you are? Bet you don’t” He asked of her. She shook her head, scared and nervous.
“Good.”, he said with a smirk, tossing the rag to the side. He came towards her, with that swaggering walk of his, so sexy. She backed away, tripping over things.

She caught a glimpse of something far off, them in this garage at some other time. He and someone else, were looking under the hood of a car. She sat on a stool, bored, as Greg talked with the guy.
“The air filter is dirty”, he stated, short and sweet, finishing up and closing the hood. “I should probably put a new one in for ya.”
“That’s it?” The guy asked.
Greg shook his head and shrugged, “That’s the only thing I see wrong with it. Everything else is okay. It’s an alright car.”

“You’re getting clumsy, now that you’re older.”
Becky’s attention came back to the present. Greg was right in front of her, his hands around her hips.
“Oh, my god…”, she screamed
“Pip down!!! Shut it! I’m not hurting you, yet. I just want a kiss.” His lips came close to hers.
She struggled, after all, Greg was dead. Who the hell was this? Not him, definitely not. His lips met hers, forcefully. She finally pushed him away…
“Who are you!!! What the hell are you doing to me?” She cried
His voice took on a fake sympathy, “What are you talking about Becky? I was your first love, why do you say that?”
“No,” she shook her head, “You aren’t my first love. You’re a nightmare. Greg is dead, don’t try to fool me. You are nothing like him. Greg loved me, you’re hell.”
He chuckled, manically.
“I’M hell? I’M a nightmare?” He turned around towards the car, putting a hand on his forehead, then whirled around again, swinging his arm freely. “And what the hell are you? You left me!! For, for what? Some guy who didn’t even LIKE you! Wha….what the hell Becky? What, did I need to go to your school? Did I need to buy you the world?” He was screaming now…
She felt tears welling up in her eyes, her face burning. He gripped her shoulders and shook her.
“Answer me!!!! Why did you leave me!!!”
“I…I…I don’t know...please, let me go..”
“No. Fuck no, how about that?” He growled
“Let me go..”

She found herself coming-to in his bed. Soft cotton blankets and limp plaid pillows. She groaned. He stood at the foot of the bed, glaring down at her from the shadows.
“How old are you going to be this year Becky? 18?”
“18” She echoed, blinking her eyes. Her vision cleared, and she could see the corner of his mouth upturn in a smile. For the first time, his face softened. Something stirred inside her, love, maybe. She noticed he was shirtless, god he was hot. Then, no, she shook her thoughts from there. He was dead, dead!!
“Look at me, china eyes.”
She raised her eyes to his, half defiantly and half scared. She pursed her lips together tightly, narrowing her eyebrows.
The man she had been seeing all the while came back out, the hate filled stares, the evilness. He wasn’t Greg. Greg would never look at her like that, or would he?
“I love it when you’re mad, baby doll.”…His face turned solemn and he walked around the edge of the bed to kneel over her. His head was inches from hers.
“Come’on, look at me with those wolf eyes of yours.”….He whispered in her ear…”You know it gets me in trouble.”
Her heart stopped. With widened eyes, she looked at him. “What…did you say?”
Greg grinned.

Her mind filled with images, a twisted chassis of a shell of what used to be an amazing car. The Virginia soil was screaming, maddened. The windshield was shattered, gleaming glass scattered everywhere and spider web cracks on some of the windows that weren’t broke. Flickering red and blue strobes illuminating the trees. Insanity, all around. Blood on the seats, on the steering wheel, on the dash even. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t, all that could come out was a choking scream. Photos she saw later weren’t ever this detailed. The Mustang was totaled, beyond any sort of repair, and Greg was dead.

“10 days, right before your birthday.”, He said to her, softly weeping. “Don’t you feel guilty!?!”
“I…” She stammered “I do…but…it wasn’t my fault! I didn’t do anything!” She clutched her forehead…”I’ve came to face all this, don’t you think I’ve GRIEVED? I’ve cried and missed you and blamed it on myself! But I wasn’t there! I didn’t do anything!!”
“You! You left me!!!!” He slammed her deep into the mattress.
“We were friends after all that!” She cried, “Wasn’t that enough?”
He stared at her, shaking his head slowly, rage in his eyes…
“No, it wasn’t enough”

[I miss you, ol’ buddy. More and more all the time. That‘s it, I mean, it was a really sick, twisted, dream that I had, but I watered it down just because a lot of it was inappropriate.]

[Fuel Lyrics, because I like the song and it goes with the dream I had.]

Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters
Till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don’t you remember anything I said when i said

Don’t fall away
And leave me to myself
Don’t fall away
And leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again
And leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands
Love lies bleeding

Oh hold me now
I feel contagious
Am I the only place
That you've left to go
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white
Dead actors faking lines
Over and over and over again she cries

Don’t fall away
And leave me to myself
Don’t fall away
And leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands
Love lies bleeding

And I wanted
You turned away
You don’t remember
But I do
You never even tried

Don’t fall away
And leave me to myself
Don’t fall away
And leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands
In my hands again

ohhhhhhh

ohhhhhhh

Quiz-Bitch

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 19:24:59 GMT

Stolen from sarahsprite again...

You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Your wise quote is: "Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising everytime we
fall" by Confucius.
Yes indeed, you see true strenght can only be
seen when a person has "fallen". Only
then one can tell how they will handle it. Just
don't make others fall so you can know who they
really are. You on the other hand may be a very
quick recoverer and don't let people bring you
down. You are your own, and you're find with
that. Emotional issues is something you handle
rather nicely.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.

How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by Quizilla

You are not sad, you are resentful

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey, that's so cool. I was almost ready not to take this quiz just because I'm not even a "sad" person, but yeah, that's me. I'm resentful..:-P

Your soul is happy.
You live life like its all a fun game. You
don't like to take things seriously which is
both good and bad. Due to your fun loving
nature you don't like steady boyfriends that
much. They come and go, and you simply aren't
ready for your true love to come just yet.
Generally you are a good friend who can cheer
up those in need of it and are fun to hang out
with. You hate feeling sad yourself and avoid
it the best you can. Parties and social
gatherings are your things, whether it be in
small or large groups of people. It is no
surprise that you are well-liked among your
peers.

How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

It’s…SATURDAY!

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 15:31:15 GMT

Ick. Now I think I have allergies, great, what else am I gonna get? Yesterday I spent my whole time walking around with red, swollen eyelids, barely able to see a damn thing. My nose was snuffed up, and I sneezed every two seconds. At first I was thinking that maybe it was my dad’s cats, who yes are still here!!! If you weren’t in-the-know, my dad just recently sold his house in Welcome, Md (which is where I live, but I still have a LaPlata address.). He bought a new 2003 5th wheel rv and rented a NICE lot in Aqualand, which is a campground in Newburg by the VA bridge; until he can buy a new, better, house. Of course, when he was moving (a MONTH ago), him and my mother brought over their two cats, Spanky and Sandy, who are demon cats from HELL, so that when he moved down to Aqualand for the time being, they would be nice and safe. But the agreement was that the cats would go as soon as he got the camper!! And I still seem to notice CATS. Urgh. Now mom and dad say that they aren’t allowed to have cats down there, but when I visited him a couple weeks back, I saw two cats on the porch of a permanent resident, and I almost ran over two rabbits! (And no, they were not wild, feral rabbits. One was white/tan and the other was black, and they were clearly REX rabbits, and not mini-rexes. I think I should know my bunny-breeds by know thankies-very-much!) The rabbits were running amuck, chasing each other and kicking up their heels! So then I confronted my mom about the whole thing..
Me: So when are you guys taking the cats?
Mom: We can’t have cats down there…
Me: Uh, mom, I saw two cats at someone’s camper, and two bunnies running loose, and they weren’t strays either.
Mom: ….*blinks*…Well, er…we can’t have outside pets.
Me: MOM! These cats WERE outside! The cats were on a porch! A porch is OUTSIDE!!!!
Mom:…….Hmmm.

No, once your parents turn 40+ there is no talking to them. It’s like 40 is the magic # for senility or something.

Anyways, do you know what today is? It’s the 9th of April! Gah! Lee called at 9:00 (exactly at 9:00am, on the dot.) this morning, and I don’t know for-what, but I’m pretty sure it was about the race today. I wanted to go so badly! But, Cory’s got a thing at 1:00, and works at 4:00, and then there’s the gym and picking Cory up from work. Bah. I could have gone to mom’s horse show today, but that also interferes with Cory’s plans. *insert vulgarity here*!!! I really didn’t want to see my/our psycho horse go to a show anyways.
People, please, never buy an Arab that doesn’t have it’s mind straight in the first place! When we bought her from Sundee and moved her to Dee’s farm (also in Welcome), we figured all she needed was some TLC. But now, 500+ pounds later of love and feed, she’s worse! Everytime I come to visit (which is rarely, because she more like mother’s horse now, because mom got her trained and takes riding lessons and whatnot) she’s running in the field, non-stop, pestering the other horses who actually do useful things with their time and eat.
Egypt is the most hyper-horse imaginable…imagine giving a quiet, down to earth horse a couple pounds of sugar. Then, imagine that horse going “BRRRAWK!!!!” and going stir crazy, only imagine that reaction 24/7. That’s Egypt.
There’s good times too, I mean, don’t get me wrong I LOVE my horse. I’m even going to get a tattoo of her done, at the same time I’ll get the pit-tat done, which will be when I lose weight. Damn-it. But the good times are often overshadowed by the pinned-back ears, the biting, and the just general meanness. Maybe one day I’ll buy that Chincoteague pony I always wanted and it’ll be nice.

Ooooh, speaking of this, I rented two movies last night, “The Incredibles” and “Corn”. Corn was one I picked up at Blair’s, because I saw the cover with the red-eyed sheep and the barbed wire and thought it was cool. It definitely was! Apart from the incest-ness, and the poor girl getting hit on by her dad, old men, and every other guy in the world, it was an awesome movie. What did Cory say when he saw it? “Oh man, you rented a B movie? *grumble*”. It was my night to pick out the movies, anyhow.
“Corn” is about this girl who moves back to her “fathers” farm, after dropping out of college because an old guy at a place she interned at got her pregnant. Right away you can tell this isn’t a movie for the faint of heart, or the easily grossed out.
She comes back only to find that the sheep on her dad’s farm are going “crazy”, they kill themselves to get at this weed. A weed, in a field of corn, corn that is engineered not to produce weeds. The weed is some sort of mutated plant, resulting from things in the corn, but it has addictive qualities that make the sheep go insane, and violent. The lambs come out with mutated limbs, or other birth defects, and the sheep also try to kill each other. Seriously, the way they go about showing the story is in places, retarded, but the plot is there and the movie has tons of potential.
Her father is selling the lambs to the local butcher, lambs that have ate this “weed” and are contaminated. And he soon finds out that the weed also helps the wool-yield in the lambs. But after people start eating the lamb at the market, babies are born dead or seriously mutated. And when the daughter tries to stop the meat from entering the food chain, she can’t, because nobody can find out which one’s are her fathers, and they certainly won’t destroy thousands of dollars of profit to find them.
Seriously, you need to watch the movie. The sad thing is, it’s not even almost science fiction. If you went into Southern States, right now, to buy corn seed, everything you would buy is “medicated” or “engineered” in some way. And it’s scary about just how little people know about their food. Think you can trust organic? Think again, because you’d be wrong. In between the somewhat soap-opera themed plots, there are some AWESOME points made by the movie, little tidbits of wisdom that you’d be stupid to ignore.
Before I go too far into this, let me state that I WILL be writing a rant on the whole thing, so don’t comment too much on this topic here, because I’ll be telling my views the next time I post.

Blah

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 14:09:42 GMT

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been responding to anybody's comments or commenting on your entries and what-not. I still care what you guys say! But this cold has been kicking my ass for the past week and it's finally rearing up and trying to win. I swear I'll get around to it sometime this week, I swear it!

Anyways, I saw something DISTURBING on the today show this morning. Pharmacists are refusing to fill perscriptions for BIRTH CONTROL! Not all, just some, but it's scary just the same! Let me announce something to all the males (not men, which are a higher class of the species of man.). It is not YOUR body. It is not YOUR right to refuse medication to ANYONE, because your job is to give people the meds they need! You are not ALLOWED to give them spiritual, moral, or any other kind of advice unless it pertains to pills/meds. You aren't even allowed to give true MEDICAL advice legally, because you are not a DOCTOR. And techinically, I could sue you just for telling me I have a cold (even though it's obvious), because you do not have the credentials to do so! It's something called "The Scope of Practice". Thank you.
Continuing onward, what right is it of yours to tell a woman that she cannot get her prescription filled for birth control pills (or patches, if you're into that sort of thing) because it is against your moral beliefs???? Yes, EVERYONE has the right of refusal of service, but that doesn't mean it is right, and it certainly won't stop anyone from suing your ass. When I was a cashier at Petsmart, I could have refused to ring up anyone who had a breed of dog I didn't like (theoritically). If I did that to you, wouldn't you be mad? But this isn't even on the same level as that!!! These are WOMAN'S bodies and lives you are messing with! You refuse to fill a birth control order because you think it's playing GOD? YOU'RE PLAYING GOD! When you pick and choose who can get what medication, you are affecting those peoples lives and not for the better. If you were against medical intervention in life threatening diseases or whatever (which would raise the question of "Why the hell are you a pharmacist anyhow?"), you could deny sick people their medication because it was against your beliefs! Honestly! I am the only one who thinks this whole topic is NUTS?
Birth control isn't even slightly morally wrong, unless I suppose, you're jewish. And I won't even get into that. The pill doesn't KILL eggs or sperm or fetuses (They aren't called fetuses at that early stage, but for some peoples sake, I won't refer to the proper term.). It tricks your body into thinking you are pregnant, so that you don't ovulate and therefore can't become pregnant. HOW WRONG IS THAT??? As semi-educated professionals, you should know better! Besides, god/whoever is up there, is more powerful than any pill, and if he/it WANTS you to get pregnant, you will. No matter what.

If males are so against birth control (and men, don't get me wrong, everyone I know supports the pill, it's only demented, non-normal males I'm refering to), then why are there many children that don't have fathers in their lives? I am the only one who sees this as being hypocritical? And stupid? BOYS PLEASE! Educate yourselves. Just because you want to spread your seed like a dandelion does NOT mean you do not have a responsibility to those kids!!!!! And, if you still don't grow up, that's what we have Child Support for.

LADIES!!! Comment and tell these mother fucking pigs (and me!) how you feel!!! And if you totally disagree with me, say that too.

TODAY SUCKS!

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 17:49:15 GMT

Okay, the title is a little eccentric, but it does suck. The fuse is blown in the hallway, there's electric coming through the water pipe outside, Lexus is running rampant and tearing shit up, and when I spray painted my dash this morning, it looked like shit!!! ARGH. I've already spraypainted my speakers and accented some other spots on the car and they turned out nice, really professional looking. I taped around the dash this morning and prepared the spot and all and it puckered when I sprayed it. After it dried a bit it looked kind of neat, textured I guess, but the rest of the accents I did are smooth! It doesn't match at all. I'm using Krylon Fusion in the bright blueberry blue, so far I don't have any complaints except for that I follow the directions perfectly and it still is puckering/not bonding.
I also was going to dye the darn seats today, but I concentrated the dye a little too much and it didn't turn out as black as I wanted. Bah. I still need to fix the damn thing to get it through inspection! My temporary tags run out Apr. 30th and I've already put a good couple hundred more miles on it.
Anyways, I think I'm done bitching for a while.

I really didn't NEED it...:-/ shrugs, oh well!

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 01:48:33 GMT

"Some girls go on shopping sprees and buy clothing, shoes, and makeup. Other girls buy all that stuff, get bored, and buy a CAR."

Yeah, it was spontaneous...I saw it on 925, and just BOUGHT the damn thing. :-D
It's a 95 Honda Civic...Black. Really cute, it's a temporary car till I get the townhouse so I can fix the Stratus. The Stratus is a show car, and this car is just a daily driver. I sat in the DMV the whole day getting the tags Anyways, I'm so serious on this, I saw it, and bought it. End of story!

I SWEAR I didn't cheat again, honest this time.

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 23:09:44 GMT

Stole this from one of Dan's friends..*shrug*

Are You Any Good In Bed?
Your Name?
Your Age?
Sex?
Favorite Position?
Do You Consider Yourself To Be A Good Lover?
Do Your Partners Generally Agree With You?

The Verdict:	You are AMAZING in bed! You are a supa freak and do anything and everything anywhere! You are a legend among your lovers and they are lucky to have experienced you. You leave them craving and begging for more! And is there ever any doubt? After all, you are Becki!
This Many People Want To Take You To Bed	Everyone and their dad.


Quiz created by TigerLilyNat at BlogQuiz.Net

Search for memes at Blog Quiz!

"You're the one I want...."

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 14:58:18 GMT

But no! I DON'T want you back! Muah ha ha.

Okay, new shtuff. Last night was fun! I got a lil' near toasted, stupidly, because I was the "designated driver". Anyways, we didn't bother to go bowling, just hung out at Robbie's house and had some beer, or in my case, fruity drinks (wine coolers. How the hell do you get drunk off of winecoolers! I'm such a spaz.). Which brings me to a convo I had with Lee yesterday morning on the phone..
(We were talking about why alcohol is bad for you, or at least for him now ...*rolls her eyes*.)
Me: I can't stand beer...but, I do like After Shock and Mike's Hard Liquor....
Lee: You mean Lemonade...*laugh*
Me: *embarrassed*...yes.
Lee: *laughs harder*...You can't tolerate beer, so you drink liquor..oh yeah, that's much better.

Ahaha, shut up.
HAPPY EASTER to everyone out there! Me and Cory are planning to go to his church today, which is cool, because it's an awesome church. I think his mom is still alittle upset that we didn't go to their house this year, but I don't think Mark pretty much cares. After all, their son is 28. But they wanted my family to go too (my gramma's making ham today, I don't think she's going ANYWHERE until that ham is dead or done.) so I feel sorta bad, because we could have had one big Easter family get-together. But then we would have fought over who had the better ham/sweet potatoes etc, just like at Thanksgiving over who makes the better turkey. Or the pie. Honestly!
Anyways, I'll probably surprise Cory and take him over there later on tonight after church, because I can't stand it when he/they pout. Plus I want some of Mark's DELICIOUS breaded chicken...*drool*

ATTENTION!

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 01:48:47 GMT

ATTN:
Everyone, PLEASE click the link below. It is a flash presentation that does have some very graphic photos, but it is very moving! PLEASE watch it! It will only take a moment of your time, but WILL change your opinion of pitbulls for a lifetime!
Thank you,
Becki
http://www.deviantart.com/view/11454716/

Another one I shouldn't post here, but am

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 22:53:48 GMT

Okay, I'm lj-cutting this one, because it's more private and I don't want EVERYONE to see it, but it's still nothing TOO private. Ah, whatever. I've edited out the emails and some of the names.

turbulentsoulcnr [9:27 PM]: did you like the pictures?
NitroSpeed16 [9:28 PM]: Yeah..:-)
turbulentsoulcnr [9:28 PM]: ack brb
NitroSpeed16 [9:28 PM]: okies
turbulentsoulcnr [9:30 PM]: back
NitroSpeed16 [9:31 PM]: koolies
turbulentsoulcnr [9:31 PM]: you really liked them? I'm not so great at taking pictures...
NitroSpeed16 [9:31 PM]: Yes I liked them...why wouldn't I? lol
turbulentsoulcnr [9:31 PM]: um...cuz I look good...?
NitroSpeed16 [9:32 PM]: *rolls her eyes*...you're so down to earth. :-P
turbulentsoulcnr [9:32 PM]: huh?
NitroSpeed16 [9:33 PM]: nevermind.
turbulentsoulcnr [9:33 PM]: no...explain
turbulentsoulcnr [9:33 PM]: you should send me pics of you...haven't seen you in like 2 years
NitroSpeed16 [9:33 PM]: Nothin..I was just misunderstanding what you wrote.
turbulentsoulcnr [9:33 PM]: mesa dork
NitroSpeed16 [9:34 PM]: I don't have any recent pics....
turbulentsoulcnr [9:34 PM]: well....produce some!
turbulentsoulcnr [9:34 PM]: I wanna see
turbulentsoulcnr [9:34 PM]: please?
NitroSpeed16 [9:35 PM]: *frowns*....do you really want to see the old ones? They suck and I look horrible..
turbulentsoulcnr [9:35 PM]: any pictures are good, you need to produce some new ones though
NitroSpeed16 [9:36 PM]: *needs to get a new digital cam* Okay..I'll send you the okay-ish lookin one..
turbulentsoulcnr [9:36 PM]: aim or e-mail?
NitroSpeed16 [9:36 PM]: Email...it won't let me connect to you through aol
turbulentsoulcnr [9:37 PM]: I am using old school aim express
NitroSpeed16 [9:37 PM]: lol
NitroSpeed16 [9:37 PM]: what's your email addy again?
turbulentsoulcnr [9:38 PM]: you can either use ********@*****.com or ***.*******@*******.****.*****
NitroSpeed16 [9:38 PM]: aighty...I'll use the first...
turbulentsoulcnr [9:38 PM]: the military one should mostly be used for messages...
turbulentsoulcnr [9:38 PM]: especially if you wanna talk to me at work...
turbulentsoulcnr signed off at 9:40 PM
turbulentsoulcnr signed on at 9:41 PM
turbulentsoulcnr [9:41 PM]: grr
turbulentsoulcnr [9:41 PM]: IE froze
turbulentsoulcnr [9:43 PM]: hello?
NitroSpeed16 [9:44 PM]: Still here.....
turbulentsoulcnr [9:44 PM]: kool
turbulentsoulcnr [9:44 PM]: pictures sent?
NitroSpeed16 [9:45 PM]: sending.,,,,,
turbulentsoulcnr [9:45 PM]: cool
turbulentsoulcnr [9:45 PM]: ty
turbulentsoulcnr [9:45 PM]: thou art awesome
NitroSpeed16 [9:46 PM]: sent
turbulentsoulcnr [9:47 PM]: received
turbulentsoulcnr [9:47 PM]: awesome
turbulentsoulcnr [9:47 PM]: I like
NitroSpeed16 [9:47 PM]: Really?
turbulentsoulcnr [9:47 PM]: now why would I go and laugh at you?
turbulentsoulcnr [9:47 PM]: yes
NitroSpeed16 [9:48 PM]: :-)
NitroSpeed16 [9:48 PM]: *blushes*
turbulentsoulcnr [9:48 PM]: :-p
turbulentsoulcnr [9:48 PM]: what?
NitroSpeed16 [9:48 PM]: I dunno...didn't think you would like them...they really are bad pics..I look nothin like that anymore
turbulentsoulcnr [9:49 PM]: you worry too much
turbulentsoulcnr [9:50 PM]: korn rocks...
NitroSpeed16 [9:50 PM]: Yeah they're pretty cool. I used to love the band but I've pretty much grown out of it now.
turbulentsoulcnr [9:51 PM]: wow...so much has changed...
turbulentsoulcnr [9:51 PM]: I'm getting old!
NitroSpeed16 [9:52 PM]: No you aren't...*huggles*..not much else has changed about me..besides my looks and my taste in music! :-)
turbulentsoulcnr [9:52 PM]: what kind of music do ya like now?
turbulentsoulcnr [9:52 PM]: rap music?
NitroSpeed16 [9:53 PM]: yesh...*loves that new trillville song*
turbulentsoulcnr [9:53 PM]: I'm behind the times, never heard of them
NitroSpeed16 [9:54 PM]: You've never heard that song? It's the one that has the squeeky bedspring music that goes "Can a playa just keep in touch..."
turbulentsoulcnr [9:55 PM]: nope
NitroSpeed16 [9:56 PM]: Wow..*stares*....what kind of music do they have out there, bluegrass? :-P
NitroSpeed16 [9:56 PM]: just playin
turbulentsoulcnr [9:56 PM]: lol
NitroSpeed16 [9:56 PM]: So what kinda stuff are you into now?
turbulentsoulcnr [9:57 PM]: just about everything, except country and gospel
turbulentsoulcnr [9:57 PM]: country sucks and I don't need to hear church music
turbulentsoulcnr [9:57 PM]: can you believe I even listen to manson now too? Well, sort of...
NitroSpeed16 [9:57 PM]: aw...cuntry isn't that bad.
NitroSpeed16 [9:57 PM]: OPPPs...country
NitroSpeed16 [9:58 PM]: =-O
turbulentsoulcnr [9:58 PM]: can't speel?
NitroSpeed16 [9:58 PM]: You? Listening to Manson? whoa..lol
NitroSpeed16 [9:58 PM]: yeah...I'm full of typos tonight
turbulentsoulcnr [9:58 PM]: tainted love is the shiznit
turbulentsoulcnr [9:59 PM]: it's ok
turbulentsoulcnr [9:59 PM]: I still listen to some rap though.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:00 PM]: I'll listen to anything with a quick beat...almost like it makes my emotions more defined
turbulentsoulcnr [10:00 PM]: of course, that emotion is usually anger, frustration, or lust lol
NitroSpeed16 [10:00 PM]: That's cool...rap is pretty much all I listen to..gives me something to base my roadrage on when I'm drivin
NitroSpeed16 [10:00 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:01 PM]: rock and most of eminem and d12 do that for me while I'm going 100 through the mountains in my little accent thingy
NitroSpeed16 [10:02 PM]: Little accent thingy? lol..can't see you drivin one of them...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:02 PM]: it was an impulse buy...that I'm still fuckin paying for
turbulentsoulcnr [10:03 PM]: ricers are pretty cool...ish....
turbulentsoulcnr [10:03 PM]: I need a celica or a supra
turbulentsoulcnr [10:03 PM]: an econo sports car with speed.
NitroSpeed16 [10:03 PM]: Yeah
NitroSpeed16 [10:04 PM]: Dodge pictures and photos
NitroSpeed16 [10:04 PM]: mesa have a Dodge Stratus...it's one bad bitch. Just gotta get it fixed
turbulentsoulcnr [10:05 PM]: kool
turbulentsoulcnr [10:06 PM]: nice
NitroSpeed16 [10:06 PM]: Well, yeah, once you look past the smashed up rear.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:07 PM]: i did
NitroSpeed16 [10:07 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:07 PM]: wanna check something...is your number still 301-934-3835?
NitroSpeed16 [10:07 PM]: yup yup
turbulentsoulcnr [10:08 PM]: w00t
turbulentsoulcnr [10:08 PM]: I mean...sweet...
NitroSpeed16 [10:08 PM]: :-D
turbulentsoulcnr [10:08 PM]: yes...you're beloved Phil is a gamer geek
turbulentsoulcnr [10:08 PM]: don't laugh
NitroSpeed16 [10:08 PM]: I wish you had more pics..*whines*
turbulentsoulcnr [10:09 PM]: why?
NitroSpeed16 [10:09 PM]: Pfft...I'd be one if I didn't suck so much at video games
NitroSpeed16 [10:09 PM]: I still haven't passed GTA Vice City.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:09 PM]: video games...?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:09 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:09 PM]: video games are overrated...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:10 PM]: tabletop RPGs like Werewolf rock at fucking life, fo sho
turbulentsoulcnr [10:10 PM]: lol
NitroSpeed16 [10:10 PM]: *blinks*...*takes your word for it*
NitroSpeed16 [10:10 PM]: :-P
turbulentsoulcnr [10:10 PM]: ...ok
turbulentsoulcnr [10:10 PM]: now why do you want more pics of me?
NitroSpeed16 [10:11 PM]: I haven't seen you in 2 years Phil...
NitroSpeed16 [10:11 PM]: Do ya blame me for wantin pics of you?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:11 PM]: here's my sign
turbulentsoulcnr [10:11 PM]: no
turbulentsoulcnr [10:12 PM]: time flies...
NitroSpeed16 [10:12 PM]: yeah
turbulentsoulcnr [10:12 PM]: I'm almost 21...so you should be almost 18...
NitroSpeed16 [10:12 PM]: 18 in August...:-D
turbulentsoulcnr [10:12 PM]: 21 in July
turbulentsoulcnr [10:13 PM]: 1 Jul 05
turbulentsoulcnr [10:13 PM]: ack military date...
NitroSpeed16 [10:13 PM]: *remembered when your birthday is*...or actually...I just knew it was in the first week of July
turbulentsoulcnr [10:13 PM]: that's better than most people...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:14 PM]: come to think of it...I haven't talked to most of the people I used to hang out with. Not even J**n, E**c and his crazy ass sisters, C***y, and other people who have escaped my memory cap
turbulentsoulcnr [10:15 PM]: you and my friend d***d are the only two people besides my family to actually talk to me
NitroSpeed16 [10:15 PM]: :-(
NitroSpeed16 [10:15 PM]: I've lost touch with alot of people from Lackey too...cept for Jeremy and Lee.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:16 PM]: c***y's too busy with her husband and child
turbulentsoulcnr [10:16 PM]: j**n and e**c don't care unless I'm home
turbulentsoulcnr [10:16 PM]: e**c's sisters still want my baby...or at least a way to reap my AF paycheck
turbulentsoulcnr [10:17 PM]: ouch...that hurts...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:17 PM]: at least I know I can talk to you
turbulentsoulcnr [10:17 PM]: I guess it takes a major career change to find out who your real friends are.
NitroSpeed16 [10:18 PM]: Yeah...I'm always here for ya to talk to if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. Or cry on...or whatever.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:18 PM]: have you ever known me to cry?
NitroSpeed16 [10:19 PM]: Nope...
NitroSpeed16 [10:19 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:19 PM]: You know what, I've actually cried within the last two years...
NitroSpeed16 [10:20 PM]: Why?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:20 PM]: I act all tough and indestructable, but I'm just a big wuss sometimes...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:21 PM]: I think it was a movie...and hella stress
NitroSpeed16 [10:21 PM]: You cried over a movie????
turbulentsoulcnr [10:21 PM]: sort of
turbulentsoulcnr [10:22 PM]: actually it was during a movie...while I was on welbutrin (trying to quit smoking AGAIN), and stress hit me like a rock
turbulentsoulcnr [10:22 PM]: chick flicks DO NOT make me cry
NitroSpeed16 [10:22 PM]: lol
NitroSpeed16 [10:23 PM]: Last time I ever cried at a movie was when I saw Ladder 49 at Anne Arundel mills mall.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:23 PM]: wow....same movie...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:23 PM]: strictly coincidental
NitroSpeed16 [10:23 PM]: koolies..lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:25 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:25 PM]: can't wait to go home
NitroSpeed16 [10:26 PM]: We should hang out when you get to come back...I miss ya.
turbulentsoulcnr [10:26 PM]: yes we should
turbulentsoulcnr [10:26 PM]: what should we do?
NitroSpeed16 [10:27 PM]: *shrugs*...mall..movies..dinner...something so that we can catch up on our lives..
turbulentsoulcnr [10:27 PM]: w00t
turbulentsoulcnr [10:27 PM]: ok...you should stop by and see mom again
turbulentsoulcnr [10:28 PM]: and anna
NitroSpeed16 [10:28 PM]: Yeah..you're mom is so nice..and Anna is the coolest kid lol
NitroSpeed16 [10:28 PM]: She probably wouldn't even remember me
turbulentsoulcnr [10:28 PM]: they are my family after all
turbulentsoulcnr [10:28 PM]: she hasn't seen you since december 2002
turbulentsoulcnr [10:29 PM]: but...she should still remember you...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:29 PM]: if she doesn't, then blame me...I brought a lot of flaky girls through that house between then and now
turbulentsoulcnr [10:30 PM]: and no, you are not flaky
NitroSpeed16 [10:30 PM]: *rolls her eyes*...lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:30 PM]: what?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:30 PM]: *evil smile* what?
NitroSpeed16 [10:31 PM]: Just thinking about just how many "flaky" girls...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:31 PM]: 4 or 5 at the most
NitroSpeed16 [10:31 PM]: Ah. Sure. jk..
turbulentsoulcnr [10:32 PM]: no it was more like 20 cuz I'm a pimp
turbulentsoulcnr [10:32 PM]: yeah fuckin right
NitroSpeed16 [10:32 PM]: lmao
turbulentsoulcnr [10:32 PM]: :)
turbulentsoulcnr [10:33 PM]: let's see...j***y, c*****l, t****a, c*****l, and c*******a...yeah, 5 flaky women..if not more...
NitroSpeed16 [10:33 PM]: Uuuugh. J***y...*scowls*
turbulentsoulcnr [10:34 PM]: how do you think I feel!?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:34 PM]: she fucking cheated on me on my goddamn 18th mothafuckin birthday
turbulentsoulcnr [10:34 PM]: with S**N M****R
NitroSpeed16 [10:34 PM]: *shudders*
turbulentsoulcnr [10:35 PM]: the day of the lustfest in my basement
turbulentsoulcnr [10:35 PM]: you and j**n, c******a n s**n, j***y n s**n, c******a and me, too much shit...thank god it didn't turn into an orgy
turbulentsoulcnr [10:36 PM]: bad day in the life of jan...next topic
NitroSpeed16 [10:37 PM]: Wait...C******a messed around with you and sean? I thought it was just sean? Gah. nevermind...
NitroSpeed16 [10:37 PM]: *switches subject*
turbulentsoulcnr [10:37 PM]: she kissed me like once...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:37 PM]: oops...*changes subject*
NitroSpeed16 [10:37 PM]: lol
turbulentsoulcnr [10:37 PM]: did I tell you I was going to Korea?
NitroSpeed16 [10:38 PM]: Yup
turbulentsoulcnr [10:38 PM]: oh...
turbulentsoulcnr [10:38 PM]: I'm so psyched!
turbulentsoulcnr [10:38 PM]: cuz I can follow on to Andrews! And be HOME!!!
turbulentsoulcnr [10:38 PM]: for at least 2-3 years!
NitroSpeed16 [10:38 PM]: What are you going to be doing out there? Just, training, or what?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:39 PM]: nope...going out for a "controlled tour" meaning I can't bring friends or family with me
turbulentsoulcnr [10:39 PM]: but I still do my job
NitroSpeed16 [10:39 PM]: Oh..neat
turbulentsoulcnr [10:39 PM]: stay there for a year and go where I want afterwards
turbulentsoulcnr [10:39 PM]: I can still contact them if I want
turbulentsoulcnr [10:40 PM]: *referring to friends and family*
NitroSpeed16 [10:40 PM]: How long are you going to be in Korea for..?
turbulentsoulcnr [10:40 PM]: 12 months
NitroSpeed16 [10:41 PM]: Kool..that's not that long..
turbulentsoulcnr [10:41 PM]: so if they aren't gay enough to deny me andrews, I will be home again next August
NitroSpeed16 [10:42 PM]: hey I gtg......I'll im you tommorow on your "***********" screenname...k?
NitroSpeed16 [10:42 PM]: ttyl..bye
turbulentsoulcnr [10:42 PM]: ok...*hugs*

Gotta admit, I'm worried about him, I worry about all my friends. But he's a tough dude..so..anyways, gtg

Post

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 20:50:40 GMT

This started as a story-typed article about the other day that I wanted to post in my deadjournal, but as it went on it turned into more of a description/rant that I felt was okay enough to post here. Hopefully, it'll make people think about how we as girls treat our guy friends. And if this sounds nothing like you, feel free to skip this over.

We were sitting on the hood of his car, far from the main streets of the town and the busy highway, but close enough for the distant sounds of the nights traffic to dust over the silence. The park was deserted, the sound of the spring peepers and the flickering of a street lamp above us was our only company.
His eyes were down, gazing at the pavement below our feet. So quiet. How could Maryland be so busy, so alive all the time, yet now be so dead? I was beginning to get irritated. The spring air was getting chilly fast and here I was, no coat. Why were we here in the first place? We should be speeding down 301, or Riverside Rd, or SOMETHING. Anything but being here, basking in tension. My heart was beating a million times per second, as I was waiting for him to say something bad.
But yet, no. He was still quiet, his face as emotionless as a rock. ‘Well, what the heck, maybe I should stare at the pavement too‘. I thought to myself. I was feeling playful, hyper even. I wanted to joke with him, tease him. ‘Come’ on!’, I wanted to say in my goofiest voice, ‘lets go to Food Lion, look at the frozen dinners or the bread aisle!’. I know what he would do then, he would look at me with his eyebrows raised and ask me, ‘Have you lost your mind Becca?’. And I would mutter under my breath, ‘No, I’m losing you…’
Why? Why was I thinking this? I had no reason to even think I was losing him as a friend! What was wrong with me? Was I really that insecure underneath to think that one day I would lose him, because he would stand up to me someday and say ‘I’m tired of you.’?? To think, that in some ways having a guy as a best friend was like having a second boyfriend. You’re still jealous, you’re still constantly wondering if he’s still going to be your best friend if you should ever slip up and become a total dork. Maybe one day he’ll show up at your door, unannounced, and see you with unwashed hair, frizzing all over the place, and in muddy clothes that have seen better days; will he stare at you with eyes of shock and back away, then run to his car and leave? Maybe he’ll even spin gravel. What about the days when no amount of Clean & Clear and Stridex can stop that enormous Mt. Pimple from erupting on your face like a rhinoceros horn, will he still want to be seen with you at the mall?

We all have them, the guy friends that are just too hot to be called “One of the Girls”, but you would never date them, (A) because you don’t want to lose them as what they are now and (B), because you just don’t feel that way. They don’t like to shop, can only tolerate your gossip, and they can’t even comprehend the concept of a menstrual cramp. Only your “non-attractive” male friends meet the “One of the Girls” status it seems. But guess what? They still don’t like to shop, still only listen half-mindedly to your gossip, and yes, still will never understand why you threw that shoe at them on the 23rd. So why do we, as girls, separate our male friends into categories like this? Why do we feel different about one set of our boy friends, yet not the others? They still have the same basic, idiotic genetic makeup!
But even then, have you ever gotten all stressed out about how you look in front of the other group? Lets just say for example, you have two friends, Billy and Joe. Joe is plain-jane, unattractive, really just dull. But Billy has that beautiful lock of hair, even if it is so hidden and spiked under hair gel that it could be considered a lethal weapon. And what about that six pack? The only six pack Joe’s ever seen is at Super C, and crunches to him are the noise that those cheesy puffs make when he eats them. Joe and Billy, besides their looks, are very much the same.
Lets just say now, that you’re going on a “date” out with Joe. You take a shower, put on your hoody, some jeans, and use the same make-up you would with anyone else. But the next day, when Billy calls, suddenly, out pops the expensive jewelry, the nice clothes, and if there’s any sign of that god damned pimple, you smother it in layers of foundation and pimple napalm.

You know it’s wrong. But you can’t help it! What if all of a sudden, he doesn’t see you as cool anymore? Deep down, you know he’s not friends with you because of how you look, or how you act, but secretly, you fear his disapproval. That’s what I was feeling.
Running rampant through my veins was this panic, some unsilenceable uncertainty, that he would look up at me with his doe-eyes and tell me that he doesn’t want to ever see me again. The logical side of my brain would question me, ‘What reason does he have? You’re a loyal friend, and he loves you to death.’. But at the same time, I felt like there was some mad little green man running around inside my brain, tapping my skull with a cane and yelling giddily, ‘He’s got another best friend! La dah de dee dah dee!’
Oblivious to this weird battle inside my head, he leaned back, shifting the weight off the pockets of his jeans, reached inside, and pulled out a pack of Newport’s. He was grumbling about a lighter, so I happily mentioned there was one in my truck. He turned to me, cigarette poised in his lips, hands in mid air as they were reaching back to his pockets for the lost lighter. And then it hit me. My truck was no-where to be seen, it was at home, and we were here on his car. A smile cracked on his face as he looked at me, eyes glittering. Lighting up his cig with that dumb lighter, he spoke to me in a choky voice full of smoke, “Becca, we didn’t drive your truck.”

SEE! There it is! I’ve done it! My heart was going crazy now, jumping around and running stupidly into the wall of my ribs. My brain was sinking dejectedly into the sofa of my head, mad at losing the fight, and I think the little green man was lighting up a blunt. Now comes the part! He’ll get of the hood in a huff, get into his car, and leave.
But he doesn’t, he tosses his head back and looks at the stars. Every so often, he breaks the trance-like state I’m in to flick the cherry off his cig, then goes back to looking at the sky. When will he tell me? Is he going to break it to me easy and spare my feelings? Or will he just cut to the chase and tell me I’m retarded for saying something like that?!?!?! The suspense tears me up!!
5 minutes goes by. The cigarette is now nothing more then a writhing, turning cylinder smoking lightly as it gasped for air. He shuffles, pushing himself off the hood of the car. My emotions have stunned me into a stupor, barely able to function. He stands, his slender body stretching as he yawns. He coughs. I jump, startled from my vegged out state, looking up at him. He’s still stretching, then he’s reaching into his pockets once again for the pack of cigarettes. My gears shift, and I’m suddenly scolding him, worried about his pack-a-day habit. I rattle on until I’m thoroughly satisfied, and he’s laughing good naturedly at the way I joke with him about it. I forget all about my fears, because all I feel is concern and love for him, like a brother. We sit, or in his case, stand there for a bit, and time freezes around us for a second.
But then, he stands with his legs apart, raises his arms, and clasps his hands behind his head. He’s standing with his back curved in, shoulders angled up, and his head tilted down at me in that playfully alluring style of his.
“Want to go to Wal-Mart?” He asks me, grinning.

Spoken like a true ‘gurl’. Oh…you know me too well.

Anyways, besides that, it's raining! Ewww.

Like I really needed to post again...

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 22:00:42 GMT

Sorry, sorry..but I'm just in a writing mood!

Rilley is mad at me, I don't even know why! I don't even care enough to ask him anymore...it can't be THAT important if he's not even going to tell me. But I do care. (Hear me? I CARE! Tell me!)

Oh yeah, my dad got a HARLEY! Have I said this here before? Fuck it, I don't care...he got a HARLEY! We put it in the (new) shed, and after it kicked back the makeshift ramp and see-sawed on the edge of the shed (did I mention that the shed is on very high foundation? Check.), it took three of us to lift that bad boy up (and my mom stood up front and panted/sweated/acted like she was doing the hard work, right mom.) and shove it into the shed. It filled the whole shed up! It's a beast! It's not like a bare-bones, comes-with-nothing Harley either, this mother fucker is decked out. I'm gonna post pics of it, don't you worry!

Whatelse was I going to say here...dammit, I keep forgetting why the hell I wanted to post in the first place.

Oh yeah, we're going to hang out with Robbie Saturday, Cory got a new job, and saw Hitch (again) with Jeremy last night.

Grrrr!

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:17:11 GMT

Oh wow...I'm about to post my very first serious post on here! It's not private enough to post on my dj.

Anyways...why do I resent my Lackey friends so much? I see them, hang out with them, and under it all there's some sort of pulling, nagging resentment and hatred. I dunno, I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I never feel like this around any one of my 'true' friends....and I know I say this ALOT. It's like I have this internal dialogue that just mutters while I'm with them, "You stupid sons-of-a-bitch, you weren't that much of a friend when we went to school together.". And it's never with the girls!!

Alot of it has to do with the fact that I'm never in touch with my Lackey friends, well, close to never. They call me, they im me, they chose when to hang with me. I'm like a pet..."Some here Becky!! Good girl Becky! Let go to the mall or the movies or the park today Becky...because my other friends are busy.". Whatever. Alot of them are the stingiest bastards anyways, never really want to pay. I wonder what they would do if I just finally spoke up and said "No, you know what? It's not okay. I've got things to do, and they don't involve you, so bye.". I need to anyways. But I don't want to lose them, I mean, it's not okay the way they treat me, but I suck it up anyways.

I love my 'other' schooled friends (hell, half of them didn't even COME from Charles County!), but you know, I love my Lackey ones too. Even though they aren't really friends. You aren't really friends with your pets are you? Sure, they can talk to me about their problems with their friends, their families, their girlfriends...but do I ever get to sit with them and say "My day was shit today."? When I do, the subject goes right back to them. I just want to scream at them "LISTEN TO ME, YOU SELFISH BASTARDS!!!!!" just once. But you know what....

It's NOTy for me to instant message them, they're always busy. It's NOT okay for me to call them, they never want to talk. It's NOT okay for me to decide when and where to hang out, because "I mean, you know Becca, I have other friends too.". I wonder if you would shit your pants if I hung up with you, eh?

Maybe I'm just blowing off steam, because I know I won't really mean it. The next time any of them call, I'll pick up the phone...anxious to speak to them. Cory will give me that "look"...the one that wonders where that gung-ho attitude went to. I know, I'll tell him that if they ever treat me like that again, I'll block their ass so fast, my computer will freeze. I'll tell him all I need is all my non-Lackey grads/dropout friends....and to fuck all the Lackey-nese people. But then, a month later, they'll talk to me...and I'll be so fricken pleased that they remembered me, I'll just hang out with them. And the vicous, retarded cycle will continue, each time taking more of my sanity and raising my blood pressure..just a tad more.

You knew I would post it sooner or later!

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 16:54:49 GMT

Lyrics from Lyrics007.com

Becky was a beauty from South Alabama
Her Daddy had a hard lock and nine pound hammer
Think He even did a little time in the slammer
What was I thinking?
She snuck out one night and met me by the front gate
Her daddy came out waving that twelve gage
We tore out the drive, he peppered my tailgate
What was I thinking?

Oh I knew there’d be Hell to pay,
But that crossed my mind a little too late!

Chorus
Cuz’ I was thinking ‘bout a little white tank top sitting right there in the middle by me
I was thinking about a long kiss man just gotta get goin’ with a night like me
Well I know what I was feeling But What was I thinking?
But What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?

By the county line the cops were nipping on our heels
Pulled off the road kicked it to 4 wheel
Shut off the lights, tore through a corn field
What was I thinking?
Out the other side she was hollerin’ “Faster!”
Took the third road had the radio blastin’
Hit the Honky Tonk for a little close dancin’
What was I thinking?

Oh I knew there’d be Hell to pay,
But that crossed my mind a little too late!

Chorus

When a mountain of a man with a “Born to Kill” tattoo
tried to cut in I knocked out his front tooth
Ran outside hood sliding like Bullduke
What was I thinking?
I finally got her home half past too late
Her daddy’s in a lawn chair sittin’ in the driveway
Put it in park as he started my way,
What was I thinking?

Oh What was I thinking?
Oh What was I thinking?

And she gave a come and get me grin,
And like a bullet we were gone again!

Chorus

What was I thinking?

★ImaStar★

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 16:47:14 GMT

Today is going to be so boring, I can feel it. Anyways, I'm about to head out to Walmart (I swear...that's nanjemoy's mall) to just walk around pointlessly and drag Cory through the clothing section to make him go try on shit. I'm thinking about going to the park in Friendship Landing...just to go hiking and maybe do alittle fishing. I don't know, atleast everyother day I'm so busy I can't ever be bored! Then when a day comes where you don't have anything to do, you're kinda like "Okay, what now????? ARGH!".
I'm going sometime in April to the Westminster auction...just to see what they've got. I still need to save up money when we go to Conneticut, and more still if we ever go camping at Smallwood State Park on the 4th of July with Pam and Brian. Sheez....!!! I've got my whole year planned out.
Well, anyways...I need to get going...gotta take a shower, get dressed, etc.

Guns N Roses

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 15:21:21 GMT

Me and Cory were arguing over the lyrics to "Welcome to the Jungle"..and, like always...I was right! I figured I'd post them here...just to post something

Welcome to the jungle
We got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money honey
We got your disease

Chorus:

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

Chorus

And when you're high you never
Ever want to come down, so down, so down, so down YEAH!

You know where you are
You're in the jungle baby
You're gonna die
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shu n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n.n, knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
It's gonna bring you down!
Ha!

Anyways...here's "Sweet Child O' Mine" lyrics too...

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine

I lied.

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 03:27:24 GMT

Your Irish Name Is...

Becky McGrath

What's your Irish Name?

Okay, okay...I cheated. I changed the html..but...it still counts! Anyways...that's what it will be this Fall...so who cares. I mean, if I don't get cold feet...or if the hot Josh just suddenly shocks the hell out of me...comes to my door with a dozen roses..and whisks me away in a daze...that would be pretty f-ing cool. I'd scrub his floors for a lifetime. But that'll never happen (please god....prove me wrong..*whimpers*)...so...on to the quizzes.

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are 65% Normal

(Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

You Are a Rottweiler Puppy

Powerful, smart, and protective.
You're eager to growl at anyone you hate - but you're a big sweetheart inside.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are 20 Years Old

20

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

That's funny, I feel about 9 right now. Too much energy, prolly.

You Are a Dare Devil

For you, life is one big dare.

And you're all in for any adventure.

Others find you exciting, inspiring, and a bit intimidating.

You're biggest challenge at this point is trying to top yourself!

How Daring Are You?

You Belong in 1980

1980

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are In a Fantastic Mood

You're confident, focused, and on top of your game.

People are attracted to your energy right now.

This is the time to go for it - you're likely to get what you want!

What Mood Are You In?

She Wants to Move by N.E.R.D.

"Her off beat dance makes me fantasize
(Her curves) She's sexy!!
Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride
(Her ass) She's sexy!!"

In 2004 you got your groove on - and had the best time ever.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE PHARRELL!!!!! SEXY SEXY SEXY!!!*dies*.....

Long time no update!

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 03:17:43 GMT

Okay...fuck the friends only aspect of the journal. There's really no point in "friending" stuff that noone who reads it will care about. All that shit goes in my dj anyways. New stuff...

1: Gonna start goin to Robbies gym...you know...the one in Waldork...because me and Cory are gettin a cheap membership, and it's a good gym! I've lost 10 pounds in the past 3 months, or somewhere near it. It's worth it to not eat shit, if you lose weight! :-D I'm staying near 350 calories a day, which sounds like I'd be starving but no, plus I'm taking daily vitamins, which is good! My clothes are so fucking baggy...but I don't have enough dough to get somemore...EVERYthing is going into my savings (and there's already quite a bit.) for the townhouse.

2: It SUCKS racing other peoples cars! I mean, yeah, it's cool, but, I'd love to be racing my own. Please don't even bother to ask when I'm gonna get my stratus fixed! I have the cash already, but I'm so damn reluctant to take it out. *shrug* It's been one constant argument between me and everyone else about what color I'm gonna paint it, indigo or keep it red. Everyone thinks I need to keep it red..but the mustang blue is HOT! That, and I'm putting off getting my checking account for some reason, so as of now I can't get the body kit off of ebay, which is yet another factor. I dunno, it sucks being busy all the time. I don't get to be home at all really..which, I suppose I can give this a new paragraph...

3: "I don't get to be at home at all really"...k, I didn't need to repeat that, but it helps! I get like, 4 hours of sleep and it's killing me! Sheez. Yeah, so today me and Cory went to these stores and such (and especially yesterday)...these fucking guys were hitting on me (all of them were black, except for one, and that was a different time)...I was like.."Um, okay, thanks, bye" and I was being polite and all, but at the same time kinda just walkin away, and Cory was gritting his teeth but not saying anything. Of course, that changed as soon as we got in the truck cuz then he just starts asking every question possible...did I know them....who were they...etc. I LOVE it when he gets so jealous! I mean, not when he's jealous of my male friends...to the point of hanging up when they answer (Yes, he's done it.)..but it makes me feel hot! I won't even bother to name the ones he's cussed out..lol

4: Goin through a bit of drama with a couple of friends....not MY drama...but...I mean this shit has been going on forever!!!!! It's tiring when you're constantly being pushed to treat someone like shit because your other friends tell you to do it. And when you've gotta put on your away message just to keep them from fucking talking to you even...but you'd feel guilty to block them. I left ALL this drama back years ago! I don't want my friends (who are older than me! come'on) to keep acting like they're stuck in kindergarten (sp)!!!!!! Drop it already and move on with your lives, and if you need to bring other people into it...don't!!!!

5: Oh yeah...talked to Phil yesterday..he said he's goin to korea..kinda worried about him..but he sent me some recent pics and he's still as cool as ever. Neat talkin to people that you haven't talked to in ages.

6: Need to start saving up for college tuition again....unless I decide just to go and get the government job I was offered...hmm...at a startin salary of $17 +....plus it being a government job and all...it's so tempting. The drive though, would probably kill me! I got almost perfect grades in class though..without all these retarded people like back at Lackey annoying me and distracting me...I can focus on what matters most..my grades. Which is kool I guess...cept when I came into class half asleep and half doped up or whatever...I had to sit there fighting fatigue and boredom for 2 hours or so. But I passed every test so well...even the hard ass ones...:-D

7: *AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* Er....that had nothing to do with anything really. Oh yeah, the easter thing. Cory's mom's alittle mad (or whatever...jealous...sad...rejected...something) that we're spending Easter with my folks. I think it went along the lines of (to cory)"You and Becky never spend any holidays with me and your dad!!!!" I feel guilty now...but I mean...we did spend Halloween 2003, Thanksgiving 2003, Christmas 2003, New Years 2003, Easter 2004 (which was fun, by the way), Fourth of July 2004....or..was it 2003??..and every holiday up till now...I'm planning on buying Carly (Cory's neice who is the SWEETEST girl in the world...cuz she adores her "aunt"!!!) a big basket of stuff...and a My Little Pony!!!!

Alright...nevermind the numbering...other stuff that's been going on.... baby sheep! and goats...and...whatever. The lamb is my pride and joy...he really is...Blade is so cool...for a sheep. We got his tail docked the other day..still need to get him...you know...castrated eeek..poor him! *yawn*...I prolly should go to bed..cuz Cory's probably getting mad and thinking about smashing Need for Speed 2 to bits...and that would suck. I'm fucking planning the wedding and all...and it's driving me nuts...I've got too many people to invite...and I want to pay for some of their hotel expenses etc...but I'm not that rich yet. Cory's gettin this high salary job with Food Lion in a few days with Robbie...pretty cool because it's right by Hampshire. Um.....I think that's it. *reeeaaallly needs to go to bed...or go out someplace...or something.*

3-Survey

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 21:54:51 GMT

I know I said this would be friends only, but I decided to make it, semi friends-semi not.
My name is: Becky
I may seem: Annoying, but too damn cute.
People who know me think: “Daaaamn gurl!!!”…;-D
If you knew me you'd probably: Hmmm…..run away? No….well, at the least you’d comment on my eyes. Everyone does! Or at least what’s below my eyes.
Sometimes I feel: Hyper, happy, horny, hoppy, poo.
My days are pretty: Jam-packed. You can NEVER get a hold of me at home.
Yesterday: SUCKED ASS.
In the morning I: Push Cory over….complain-bitch-whine, check the phone (all my friends call at 12:00 am…not call people back…go back to sleep.
I like to sleep: In cold, frigid temperature, with lots of pillows, lots of blankets….etc.
If I could be doing anything right now I would be: NOT getting high, dammit. So don’t ask….please. Uhm, actually, I would be at the track….or racing some homies, or something
Money is: not ever something I have. I need to play that TLC song…”can you pay my bills? Telephone bill? Auto bill? Foooooood bill?” I know it doesn’t go like that.
One thing I don't have that I wish I did is: My car back. More than everything in this whole world. But that’s my own baggage….
One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: Hmm…..I dunno, I’m grateful for what I do have, no regrets.
All you need is: A good, fast car….and friends who at least pretend to love me…J
All I need is: But…..that’s the same thing…..
If I had one wish it would be: Eh, a lot…L Personal stuff, that you have to know me, to know.
When I look in the mirror I see: The baddest bitch in town!
Love is: Annoying, fake, dragging-me-in-the-dirt, bothersome, I could really just go on.
If I could see one person right now it would be: That’s one of those, if you knew me, you’d definitely know it.
Something I want but I don't really need is: Gee-wilikers.….I get to chose!?!
I live for: other people it seems. Not myself, which is depressing.
I am afraid of: Being alone.
It makes me angry when: I have to choose…in a bad way….or when I hurt someone…or when they hurt me
I dream about: Heh heh….don’t you wanna know…
I daydream about: Having money…..

1 Year Ago, I was:
o1. With Cory…..
o2. Buying my Strat!!!
o3. Fatter
o4. Startin college…
o5. Younger..??

2 Years Ago, I:
o1. Was with Cory…J
o2. Was also with other people (Ri, Mike….you get the point)...because that was 2003 (me + Cory started going out that summer )
o3. Lost my civic.…
o4. Got my horse! (2002, actually)
o5. Was….uh..myself.

Yesterday I:
o1. Didn’t go to the gym…even though I should have.
o2. Saw Dan. Got to ride in the avalanche. Sweet.
o3. Waited for someone to call……but who didn’t.. dammit.
o4. Was bored…just like today..
o5. Starved..and not because of my diet..!!!

Today, I:
o1. Did nothing.
o2. Called Eddie..I mean, does any of this really count?
o3. Did nothing, still.
o4. Didn’t eat anything again! Feelin good!
o5. Watched tv…

Five Songs I Know All the Words To, Even Without the Music:
o1. The song from Eastern Motors! It’s sooo catchy.
o2. Slipknot, Duality
o3. Usher, Yeah
o4. Ying Yang Twins, Shake it Like a Salt Shaker (yeeeeeeeah!)
o5. Young Buck, Shorty Wanna Ride

Five Things I Would buy With $100,000:
o1. Paintjob, for the truck, rims, roll pan, and do the engine work I‘ve been planning to do forever. For the car, I’d fix it, paintjob, rims, make it faster…
o2. Put aside some money to build a new house back here…buy the couple bad ass acres with the pond.
o3. Put aside more money to start that business I want. (Auto sales)
o4. Liposuction? I don’t know.
o5. College fund for my future kids, :-D I’ve got my whole future planned out. I just wish I had a way to get there.

Five Bands You've been listening to Lately:
o1. Bands? Uh…not many…The Killers
o2. Korn (it never gets old, sorry.)
o3. Tupac (not a band.)
o4. Destiny’s Child (a sort of band…)
o5. Uh…..

Top Five Locations I'd Like To Run Away To:
o1. Miami
o2. Maybe the Bahamas
o3. Boston (previous answer, but I want to see the Celtics play.)
o4. Las Vegas, but not really.
o5. Here. Believe it or not I love Southern Maryland, and if other people were smart they would too.